I Don’t Have Children — I Couldn’t Stand The Judgement

(Image/Magic Creative)

Forget all the usual reasons for not having kids:

— Commitment.

— Cost.

— Worry.

— General disruption of a previously peaceful life…

This is my reason:

— Judgement.

I hate people asking me what I do.

For my brother, it’s easy. He answers:

‘Pilot.’

Straightforward and to the point. ‘Ah, you fly planes. Cool.’

A conversation ensues about some boring flight somewhere. Or VIP lounges in Dubai or Doha.

Then they come to me.

‘… What do you do, Philip?’

‘At the moment I work on a farm. Two years ago, I worked as a chef. A year before that, a holiday rep. A year before that, a caretaker. A year before that, an English teacher.’

You see why I’m envious of my brother.

So easy.

— Pilot!

That’s it.

Five letters that define him. For me, I need the whole alphabet.

A job doesn’t define you, I realise that. But try telling that to other people.