Oh Fuck! It’s My Birthday Again!

Philip Ogley
2 min readMay 3, 2022
(Image/ Pexels)

It’s my birthday again. A day that’s important to me but no one else. I often wonder if Jesus felt the same way.

‘Hey Judas, do you think anyone will remember me when I’m gone?’

‘I doubt it. But you never know.’

I don’t share a birthday with the son of God, but I do share one with Bing Crosby, James Brown and Michael Palin.

So, close.

Lucky I wasn’t born the day before. Then I’d have shared a birthday with David Beckham, Englebert Humperdinck, and Jimmy White.

Who?

Exactly.

There’s always some dumb feed on the internet these days celebrating some obscure dead personage, writer, scientist, artist, or cleric no one has heard of.

‘Today we’re celebrating the birthday of Margaret of Burgundy, English wife of Charles I, born on 3 May 1446 in Fotheringhay Castle, Northamptonshire, England. Died 1503.’

Damn, I forgot! Margaret of Burgundy! How stupid of me.

Most people forget mine. But as I don’t know many people these days, that’s no big deal: This year I’ll be celebrating it with my wife, a cat and eight chickens.

When you’re young, it seems the whole street comes round with presents, jelly, custard and balloons. Then for your eighteenth, thirtieth and fortieth, there are celebrations galore. Then everything tails off.

Birthdays become more personal when you’re older. More introspective. A chance to mull over your life even if you’ve done nothing with it. Until eventually you forget the whole thing. And it forgets you.

This year I’ve received more greetings from people I don’t know than those I do.

I’ve already had birthday messages from France TV, Asana (a to-do App), MoonPig (a greeting card company), Livarot D’Auge (my local council) and Tesco Vouchers (a UK supermarket loyalty card system).

I thought this kind of data was meant to be secret. Obviously not.

Anyway, today is my birthday if anyone wants to hack into my accounts.

And Happy Birthday to anyone reading whose birthday is also today. Unlikely, but possible. Is Bing Crosby still alive? James Brown?

No. But Michael Palin is.

So Happy Birthday, Mike, if you’re reading. Cheers.

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