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Animal Satire
Pet Parents — Who The Fuck Are You?
I have a small cat called Lizzie.
It’s a semi-feral tabby that turned up one day, and I’ve become quite attached to it.
Yesterday I overstepped the mark by calling her ‘my daughter’.
The cat glared at me in disgust.
‘I’m not your daughter, I’m a cat. I have little affection for you. If you didn’t feed me, some other sucker would!’
She’s right. I’m a sucker. But I do like cats for this very reason.
They are arrogant, discourteous, disinterested, and sometimes violent (I have numerous scratches to prove it).
But they are also smart and independent. Plus they keep themselves clean and don’t smell. Unlike their distant cousins.
There are quite a few dogs around here, as you’d expect in a rural area. Mainly hunting and herding dogs. But also a smattering of Labradors and Poodles who are dragged around the narrow country lanes on extendable leads by their owners.
Sorry, did I say owners? I meant Pet Parents.
I only came across this name a few weeks ago after reading some article on how to worm a cat.
At the end of the article, it said: Written by Ms Sandra Foster, Pet Parent.
